I'm not sure if "imposter syndrome" is the correct term to describe what I'm feeling most of the time.
I've never felt like I was part of the Deaf community, not really. Growing up mainstreamed meant that I spent my time among the other kids in public education, for the most part. I've learned enough sign language to manage communicating, but I don't get to sign often enough.
I had an unscheduled mental break in 2022 & was forced to reconcile my identity, abilities, and sense of self-worth.
I do not have access to a psychiatrist because they are in short supply in Ontario. I am eternally grateful to my partner for listening to me deconstruct my entire life in an effort to put it back together. I suppose this is why I now consider myself to be autistic first, deaf second.