8.5.25

Alexa

Me: "Echo, turn out the lights."

Echo: *mumbles something*

Me: "Great, I'm not wearing my hearing aids. ECHO. TURN OUT THE LIGHTS"

Echo: *mumble*

Me: (walks to bedroom and has partner turn off the lights remotely using app). "Alexa's being difficult."

They: "Oh, here's why it says it's offline."

Me: 😑

Hell

Wife: "A window to hell has been opened."  Me: "... what?"  Wife: "The Rideau canal is open"