COVID was difficult for a lot of people. I spent a year stuck in a place I never want to experience again. Around 2022, I was considered an "essential employee"; I reported for my job where we had to wear masks to stop the spread of COVID. I'm hard of hearing and I read lips. A part of my job was configuring slots for new products. They used to allow employees to write the dimensions on pieces of paper as what they wanted - but when COVID hit they essentially said "no more bits of paper, to stop the spread, talk to your co-worker instead." I can't read lips that way.
I did my best to operate under those conditions until it finally broke me. By that I mean, it broke MY mask - my autism one. I didn't realize I even had one at the time, but suddenly there it wasn't. I was taking antianxiety medication to try and deal with the stressors. 30 mg is a high dosage, I suspect. It dulled everything, not just my anxiety - my personality even. Weaned myself off of that stuff - and it feels like I'm emerging from a cocoon or something weeks later.
50 years of being an undiagnosed Autistic does something to a person, I imagine. You know how they say "Treat others the way you wish to be treated"? How you treat others, is exactly how I'll treat YOU. I'm feeling more like 'myself'. This must be what weaponized Autism looks like.