Mimic

 

In light of Autism, during my years of speech therapy, I think that is where I learned to "mimic" things in order to speak. I had a moment in the 90s to improve my diction by singing Karaoke. Nothing like live on the floor feedback.

Back to the speech therapy. I would mimic the lady who was trying to help me, but I seem to recall mocking them, making it a game once in a while.

Them: "Now repeat after me."

Me: "After me."

This is probably where I started doing impressions - recording TV shows and playing them back, trying to copy the sounds I heard. It was an annoying skill at best, at least according to my parents.

Anyway, I've started researching mental health, it is looking very likely I have some ADHD as well. I had difficulty concentrating on one task for long stretches when I was younger, but I was probably bored.

Isolation

"Autism is a mental state which appears from early childhood, characterized by a massive difficulty in communicating, interacting, and forming relationships with other people. Children with Autism do not generally have decreased cognitive functioning."

"These individuals may navigate social communication challenges, exhibit restricted interests and routines, and experience sensory processing differences. Nonverbal communication difficulties and executive function struggles can also be part of their daily lives. Moreover, emotional regulation issues, literal language interpretation, social anxiety, and isolation often play significant roles."

Reflecting on my past through the lens of autism, I believe I now have a better understanding of how people perceive me, why I'm alone all the time, & why it feels that way.

I find the quotes above helpful, in forming a positive mindset about myself, rather than a negative one. It is a liberating journey, albeit a humbling one.

Source 1): Fluent AAC 

Source 2): Perplexity AI

Alexa

Me: "Echo, turn out the lights."

Echo: *mumbles something*

Me: "Great, I'm not wearing my hearing aids. ECHO. TURN OUT THE LIGHTS"

Echo: *mumble*

Me: (walks to bedroom and has partner turn off the lights remotely using app). "Alexa's being difficult."

They: "Oh, here's why it says it's offline."

Me: 😑

Sign More Often

I've asked my partner to sign more often, and I'm happy to report that I am remembering to do so as well.

Use it or lose it, folks.

Us And Them

Organized religions are one of the oldest forms of corralling & organizing humans unto "us and them" camps; the believers and the heathens. That was the first step towards lack of empathy. By separating us, via whatever microcosm you choose, you weaken us. Gotta keep 'em separated, or they might love each other.

We never learn natural empathy because we are conditioned that we're better than they are.

Communication

 

"You speak very well for a deaf person."

Thanks. I worked very hard at it, I still do. If you really wanted to pay me a compliment, you could instead commend me on the fact that I'm the one carrying the burden of the conversation. I am capable of speaking and I have some residual hearing. I speak because I don't have a choice most of the time, as the majority of the population couldn't be bothered to learn sign language.

Yet another device has been trialled; this time a ring that can decode finger spelling into English through a smartphone app (I'm guessing). This is again technology stepping in. Let me rewind a little bit.

I learned sign in my early 20s, growing up I was mainstreamed in a public school. I did not have any deaf peers near me really, so I was pretty much always isolated most of the time. Fast-forward to today, I'm now in my 50s and no amount of finger spelling cards or YouTube videos produced by sorority sisters has moved the needle. We've had representation on TV for decades, most recently Switched At Birth, which I thought was a commendable YA series.

Perhaps this new ring idea might help, it might not because I see 2 points of failure: The ring itself malfunctioning, and the other person not having a compatible phone to download the app, or horrors, even willing to do so.

We could just learn sign language and avoid all of this nonsense, but the hearing people won't do it, so we're back where we started.